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Mask of Sorrow



English: A translucent Halloween mask in the f...

English: A translucent Halloween mask in the form of a grimacing mummy, sold by Ben Cooper, Inc. in the 1960s. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


The mask of intimidation was just apt for this Halloween. Isn’t death an intimidating concept that threatens to end one’s living hope and existence?

My reflection in the mirror showed a pair of teary eyes that met a surprised look headed straight towards the cubicle

Another shocked gaze under the golden crowning glory posited opposite my reflection.

For a moment, I hesitated to verify the reality as I might get hurt again. And I was contemplating a flight.

I am a solitary soul and determined to keep my isolation away from the scheming. Whether there’s an explanation or not for what happened in the past, it has already been charmed against me.

However, it has been a long time and I am still holding on to the possibility that it was my fault of always running away from the crowd that created the black hole. The gravity in this black hole is a huge motherfucker where nothing can escape even light to shed enlightenment.

I could have just walked away again instead of kissing the imminent pain.

I should have pretended to see no death and let it haunt me with its scheming list. And to keep it busy because it has nothing else to do but spread my loss.

But I learned that unless it is decomposing, it can still have a healthy value (go, recycling). So, I decided to use an old mask of sorrow to long and to be needed and poised for a flash.

The flash was a tricky ice breaker. It developed an image with ice pick to make you bleed from within. You would not even feel the hit until it was pulled out leaving no sign for the outside world to see later on.

In response to the picture taken, I did my own hit. It was my attempt to save the wasted memory into a recycled belonging. Without looking back, I never ever thought of a trap.

Instead, I freaked out dancing mindless of time and space. No gadget can ever capture the real ecstasy I was feeling. It’s either I truly enjoy the moment or capture the image I want other eyes to see. I chose the former.

And I retire to bed contended with a good night sleep.

Death, meanwhile, is lurking around trying its way to end my existence. While fearing not to be able to do the only thing it knows, I throw the mask of sorrow into its face and sealed its fate by living the life I deserve.


Mask-less. Un-intimidated. Free.





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This entry was posted on November 1, 2012 by in Because Life Matters, Solitary Emission.
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